LEADER 00000pam  2200277 i 4500 
003    DLC 
005    20191202122607.0 
008    190731s2019    nyu      b    001 0 eng   
010      2019030457 
020    9780525540106|q(hardcover) 
040    DLC|beng|erda|cDLC|dIMmBT|dUtOrBLW 
042    pcc 
092    158.2|bBEN 
100 1  Benson, Buster,|eauthor. 
245 10 Why are we yelling? :|bthe art of productive disagreement 
       /|cBuster Benson. 
264  1 [New York] :|bPortfolio/Penguin,|c[2019] 
300    277 pages ;|c22 cm 
336    text|btxt|2rdacontent 
337    unmediated|bn|2rdamedia 
338    volume|bnc|2rdacarrier 
504    Includes bibliographical references (pages 255-263) and 
       index. 
520    "Does this sound familiar? You walk away from an argument 
       and suddenly think of all the brilliant things you wish 
       you'd said? You avoid family members and colleagues 
       because of bitter, festering tension that you can't figure
       out how to address? Now, finally, there's a solution: a 
       secret that frees you from the trap of unproductive 
       conflict and pointless arguing forever. If the threat of 
       raised voices, emotional outbursts, and public discord 
       makes you want to hide under the conference room table, or
       if you're simply sick of unresolved arguments that never 
       produce useful results, you're not alone. Conflict, or the
       fear of it, can be devastating. And the process of 
       minimizing, deflecting, or avoiding difficult people can 
       leave you brimming with repressed emotions. But as this 
       powerful book argues, conflict doesn't have to be 
       unpleasant. In fact, properly channeled, conflict can be 
       the most powerful tool we have at our disposal for 
       deepening relationships, solving problems, and coming up 
       with new ideas. As the mastermind behind some of the 
       highest-performing teams at Amazon, Twitter, and Slack, 
       Buster Benson spent decades facilitating hard 
       conversations in stressful environments. He found that 
       even smart, eloquent people struggled to stay calm and 
       keep their heads clear when differences of opinion arose. 
       So he set out to find a better way to argue, staging a 
       succession of experiments and informal debates, and 
       studying the participants closely. He took note of the 
       scripts people defaulted to and the chain reactions they 
       caused. Slowly, patterns began to emerge. Buster's 
       findings shattered his assumptions about what makes some 
       arguments productive and others not, and dramatically 
       improved his relationships at work, with his wife, and 
       with strangers online. In this book, Buster reveals the 
       psychological underpinnings of awkward, unproductive 
       conflict, and the critical habits anyone can learn to 
       avoid it. Armed with a deeper understanding of how 
       arguments work and why, you'll be able to: * Remain 
       confident when you're put on the spot * Diffuse tense 
       moments with a few strategic questions * Facilitate 
       creative solutions even when your team has radically 
       different perspectives * Get through to the most stubborn 
       people by understanding their motivations Freed of your 
       fear of disagreement, you'll find yourself eager to engage
       with intimidating people and uncomfortable ideas. You'll 
       end up having fewer repetitive, predictable fights, not 
       because you're avoiding or squashing them, but because 
       you're finally able to identify your biases, listen with 
       an open mind, and communicate well. As your confidence 
       grows, you'll shake off lingering memories of interactions
       that made you feel tongue-tied or incapable, knowing that 
       it's in your power to steer the conversation wherever you 
       want it"--|cProvided by publisher. 
650  0 Interpersonal conflict. 
650  0 Interpersonal communication.